02/01/2026: i don't recall my first thought neither my last (my memory is ruined) but what I can think of right now is that my thoughts are temporary, vanishing over time. utterances that may repeat in different fonts, they change and so do I. Because I am my thoughts, but not only that, peoples thoughts are also me. to some extent, you know. so, for my first thought in this blog is the thought that I'm temporary and so are my thoughts. thanks
03/01/2026: i feel stuck in between two opposites. the need and feeling needed, the want and feeling wanted. is it true that what you crave is what you fear? or is it the unfamiliarity that keeps on freezing my body, stuck in the middle, feeling all and nothing. needless to say, i've tried to stop that loop, either way, i end up in another loop. i mess my mind whether i like it or not. and it gets too crowded. the funny thing is that its just me. the voices.
05/01/2026: i would like to think that i see all perspectives, but i am inevitably constrained. i've lived / i'm living/ i will live one only life.while i can feel empathetic, its so egotistical from me to think that I know something, something involving another living. as well as the other way around, i feel what i feel, and fortunally/unfortunally its only me.in a world of "let it be", i find myself constantly replaying moments where i think i know why certain thinks happen (you know, through patterns), i only see what ive lived, in my own way, in my own pattern. I do not regret anything though, we live to learn. but i guess, there are some questions, some perspectives that wont get an answer, especially for me.
08/01/2026: i need to shake more ass. match my body with the rythm. whenever i feel like it. who cares. when i think of it, nostalgia comes. not too long ago, for a brief moment in my short life, i felt in a flow state, euphoric, raptured, in a bliss. i miss that, i miss the past, i miss the way i felt, the way i was. still i know when to leave, when its past that peak. although, bittersweet, i hope i find some peace and maybe, some day feel that again.